Tag: cats

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Cats: The most low-status pet. Shelters are crowded by them – and foster homes and volunteers are swamped at all times, due to the constant, non-stop flow of homeless floofs. But as I find it boring to write ideological posts (I prefer to stick to the less serious), here are some reasons why cats are just as amazing pets as dogs. In other words, if you’re a dog person without a dog – because dawgs require a lot of work – I hereby challenge myself to make you consider a less work demanding, but equally amazing companion.

Sure, I am definitely a cat person, but in general, I love all animals – dogs too. My lazy nature however goes better with the one of felines, but otherwise, I would be super happy with a pup too and love the crap out of it.

There, now you know I can be trusted. Just hear me out.

Yes, there will be photos of my cats in this post. Duh

Selectiveness is awesome when you are the one selected. It may take a while, all depending on the individual, but your cat will choose you. He might be an easy-going cat who doggily greets everyone else too, but if not – who does not love being the only one approved by that cranky individual who hates the whole world?

Dogs are extroverted, while cats are introverted. Just like a human extrovert will greet you with a hug, all eager to catch up, an introvert human might just say hello and be a little shy before (s)he remembers that you’re great friends. That does not mean they love you any less.

Cats are anarchists. In my experience, most animals have certain individual personality traits, some of which can be altered by humans to a certain degree. That said, cats do not follow your rules. They’re not your baby, they’re your roommate. And sure, at times that fluffy, innocent-looking roommate will steal your food and shed on your sheets, but most of the time it’s just really cool to be living your life next to someone else living theirs while pretending not to depend on you. But you know they do, and sometimes they forget to pretend and turn into chonky love balls.

At times my cat really does act like my roomie

I divide dogs into two categories: 1) Proud 2) Sorry for existing. Cats however only come in the first, AKA Look at all the fucks I give! One of my everlasting life goals is learning to give even more of those. I admire them. Cats are ~never~ sorry for existing.

Cats are self-cleansing. Did you know that wool very rarely needs washing? Most of the time it’s enough to put it on a hanger and let it air out for a day or two. The same goes for cats (without the hanger part). They can easily go their whole life without a bath, and still be really fresh. They don’t even smell. It’s super practical.

They get really old. Absolutely something to bear in mind when getting one, but I would definitely call it an advantage that cats can live up to 20+ years if they’re lucky. Unfortunately, our doggy friends usually last much less.

Dogs are horizontal, cats are multi-angled – perhaps that is why they are the stars of YouTube. You never know how high (or low) you might find your long-tailed roomie, and sometimes they just disappear, before reappearing in the middle of the floor, as if gone to another dimension. It doesn’t matter how small your flat is. And it’s super fun.

Cats are liquid. How else do they manage to fit into places half their size? A cat’s fear of the vacuum cleaner makes claustrophobia unheard of, and never an issue.

Dogs bark, which is probably the only thing I dislike about them. Cats on the other hand are quiet animals, and the sounds they do make are like precious, therapeutic gifts. A meow here, a purr there. No neighbor complaints, no horrified mailmen.

Unlike myself, cats have the ability to look super cute even when fat. As much as I wish that were the case for my own appearance, I must sadly admit that I just cannot rock the chonk shape.

They make everything better. You turn on the fireplace, but not really getting in that snuggly mood? Put a cat. Have an ugly sofa that needs pimping up? Put a cat. Don’t feel like going to bed? Put a cat. Cold feet? Put a cat. Rainy day? Put a cat. Heartache? Put a damn cat. Dying? Cat. Not kidding.

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Having just finished my exams, I thought this would be a good moment to share my groundbreaking knowledge on how to procrastinate. I have indeed learned a lot from my studies this far; I have gained a profound insight into arts management and more or less mastered the theory behind project management, and, – I have once and for all got a confirmation on my insanely well-developed ability to procrastinate. My talents are indisputable. She’s born with it.

(This text will be absolutely life-changing for productive people. You should sponsor me.)

• First and most importantly; wait until the very very very very last minute to do just about anything other than what’s on this list.

• Make sure to always snooze when your alarm goes off. One hour, two hours. There simply cannot be too many snoozes.

• Have insomnia. If you don’t, think about that thing you said fifteen years ago that might or might not have offended someone.

• Have cats (I cannot say this enough times). They tend to lie on you, on your books, on your computer. Follow the house rule of any decent cat household. ~Never~ move the cat.

• Make sure to have access to Netflix, HBO, and absolutely every other streaming service that exists. Side note: documentaries are technically like reading a book.

• Have a messy house. This will require you to do chores, and you will enjoy doing them for the first time in your life. (The same rule could be applied to working out.)

• YOUR SOCK DRAWER NEEDS ORGANIZING

• Contact friends you haven’t seen in a while. Your guiltiness will justify prioritizing to go out for a coffee (slash wine slash vodka slash drugs) with them.

• Make sure to rest and reward yourself after each goal you reach, which makes it totally logical to put very.many.goals.everywhere.

• Social media is your friend. Buzzfeed is your friend. Google is your friend. Memes are your friend. This site is your friend. The quiz What kind of butter are you? is your friend.

• Forget your glasses. Or lose them completely (you may prefer stepping on them by accident). If you don’t wear glasses, poke yourself in the eyeball with a fork.

• Spend months organizing your future progress. Buy fancy folders and other inspiring office equipment. Make sure to never be inspired by them.

• Call your mother. No further elaboration needed.

• Share a bottle with a random child or lick the used cup of your colleague that isn’t in today.

• Have daily selfie sessions for your resumé. Tell yourself it will help your future job search.

• Do some volunteering. No one can argue with volunteering.

• Make your husband/boyfriend/parent/friend/cat dinner. Disguise it as a simple act of love, but know better. Laugh like Dr. Evil within yourself.

• Make a blog that nobody reads. Write stuff like this, and tell yourself it’s educative.

Told you I’m good. Thank me later. Later.

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Unfortunately, we live in a country where we are lucky (but oh so unlikely) to get three months of summer. The rest of the year consists of different variations of the concept of Winter. Everything from Hey, it’s a sunny September day, last chance to wear shorts and get out, only to realize it’s freezing and you should consider yourself lucky not to die from pneumonia kind of winter to the sneaky It’s covered in white, today must be cold so you put on three wool sweaters but no rubber boots and go out, only to find that it’s not so cold, so you spend the day smelling your own sweat and hence cannot remove mentioned sweaters, with wet shoes and socks underneath kind of winter.

Oh, the joy.

Some alien-like people actually enjoy this. But I don’t. In fact, I did not sign up for this. Marry a foreigner, they said, it will be fun, and so on. So I thought until I realized he’s more attached to my country than I am. He freezes less than me and never wears a scarf or a hat, not even gloves. (And you call yourself Spanish?!)

I on the other hand need a full stash of mechanisms, a kind of mental-physical survival kit to get me through this time of year. I refuse to believe I’m alone, so I decided to share it. Here it goes.

• Get ready for having the Michelin man as your fashion icon for six months. Just accept that even if you’re really slim, you. will. look. HUGE. It’s a fact.

• Don’t be cheap about your winter clothes. This is the time to invest in some real chunky wool sweaters and admit to yourself that sheep were a gift from God to cold people. Check the washing tags when you consider making a purchase, and for His sake, stay away from acrylic, nylon and polyester. Synthetics are wool’s evil doppelgänger.

• Have cats (this seems to be the answer to a lot of issues). Cats have a much higher body temperature than humans and are great to literally put upon yourself when coming home to a cold house.

• Gain some isolating winter kilos. Fat people freeze less.

• If you have installed heat in your bathroom floor, try moving your kitchen and living room in there. Get comfortable and stay put until April.

• Make sure to use blusher or rouge on what little of you is visible when you go outside, – I for one am quite content with looking like a corpse only when I actually become one.

• Snuggle. I do this all year round, but it’s even more important in the winter, being that I mostly interact with other living creatures over the edge of my scarf.

• Party like an old person and swear by beverages that warm up your throat, like cognac. Bonus for classiness.

• Be a little extra friendly, and invade the intimacy zones of yourself and others. The power of body heat shall not be underestimated.

• Avoid public transport. They are usually cold and tend to stop a lot during this time of year. If you have to use it, go back to the previous advice.

• Complain. In the winter, complaining about the weather is the greatest ice breaker (couldn’t resist that pun) there is. You will make new friends.

• Do not ever go to cottages. People will make you ski.

• Make an effort to blow up the coziness scale by drinking lots of tea, eating candy, and lighting a fireplace. Cover yourself in blankets, be lazy, and feel great about it.

• Leave. The country, Europe, Earth. Just make sure you go South.

Sincerely, good luck. I mean it.