All the Spanish Chill

Like I have mentioned before (and again), Spaniards are probably the most relaxed people on earth. Although I have already spoken about how they bump into each other’s cars on purpose when parallel parking and how their bars are full of filth and dogs, I feel like the time has come to dedicate a whole post to the utter chill of this species.

Spain has great food. However, they do not know how to make it look good. This does not just go for the appearance of the dish when served. It is hilariously adorable to look through their homemade bar menus, seeing how they have somewhat tried to make their dishes delicious looking, but failed so thoroughly. Thankfully I know how it tastes, and it really is great, but the menus communicate something like “Look at our delicious… goo! It’s brown, slimy and weird! It’s a great goo! MMM!”

Delicious, delicious bean goo

So, you order some goo. And it looks a lot better than in the pictures, and it is actually the best food ever! Then, suddenly, the complete stranger across the table (whom your friend brought along), starts eating from your plate. He does not ask first, he just grabs his fork and helps himself. WTF, dude? Just know that you can also steal from their plates. This gives you access to lots of different stuff, so unless you’re a bacteria phobic, it’s pretty cool.

Lay off my food, stranger

They’re not very correct either. Latins are a bit like big children – they say what they think and have no filter. This applies to ethnicity, body shapes, behavior, and everything in between. Be sure, if you have gained weight, you will be asked why you have become so fat all of a sudden. Just like they cannot stop commenting on how I stay as white as ever even after a month and a half in the sun. I won’t elaborate on other skin tones than my own, but let’s just say, words that are considered offensive in other languages, may not be seen like that among Latins. It’s just a fact, and they don’t mean anything by it, nor do they take offense.

Conversation between Spanish cats

This brings me to their temper. Sure, Latins are known to be a bit loud, and if they disagree on something they can spend a long time discussing it, sounding furious to everyone who has not spent enough time with them. But they’re not. The only thing they usually end up agreeing on is that the other person has no idea, but when they’re done screaming, they order another beer and have a toast. Best friends again!

Somehow they manage to be charming even when telling each other to fak off

Also, their foul mouths. Words which are considered bad in other languages, just don’t carry any significance anymore to the Iberians. We all tend to swear from time to time, no matter where we’re from, but the Spaniards have really integrated their swear words into their language in an admirable manner. Where would you go to the doctor, and the doctor drops something on the floor, and says PUSSY! They don’t even react. It’s just like saying ops.

Shitting on someone’s mother is a fairly common phrase in Spanish

Let me return to their tendency to call people fat. Yes, they might be brutally honest about your weight gain, but they also use the word gordo (fat) affectionately. My mother in law once greeted me by saying GORDA, all smilingly and thrilled to see me, and they tend to call kids/animals/people they love gordito, gordi, gordo (and all kinds of variations) just like other people use dear or darling.

“I love you and I want to thank you for being in my life. Good morning. My fatty.”

KEEP IT CHILL, Spanish people!

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